Developmental Stories

 We spoke about ritual and now important it is to organize therapy around ritual to make it predictable and recurrent. Joseph in hiding a prostitute was creating a trauma bond. Our sexual lives are the truest part of our lives. Because they reveal our deepest desires. a neurobiological imperative is to be touched. So the abused feels the lack of care, connection and play that makes us accessible. The abuser reads our longing. Touch is a survival need. When mom and dad do not satisfy that need and an abuser does.  And how is that evil. You have to honor how your need was paired with sex for you to survive. Scott is sharing his story for us to reflect on it. A Story of Harm with my Mon This is not a report, it is general get to know me. However, the real work is where there it tears, pain, murder. The scene where Michael Corleone kisses his brother in the mouth and says, I know it was you. The betrayal of a sibling. You get into the scene where the heartache lies in the story. H...

 Introduction Check in: what is your affect, what zone you are in, what color you are? What do you need tonight? Notice the sensations. Attention back to the room. So, how are you checking in? I am green, number 5; I am looking for togetherness.   Robert's Story Notice his face, where his emotions shows, if you feel connected, how quickly your notice the story, key words. Sutton: How is your body after reading that? Robert: I feel vulnerable Sutton: Do you have a sense of where do you feel the most connected with the story? Robert: When mommi came in bleeding Sutton: I feel the terror and confusion for that boy. I care to know what yo notice? Robert: this was a murder. It was the murder of my heart. It makes me angry and confused. I am kind of stuck in that in a way.  Sutton: yes you said that several times. Did you notice that? Robert: Yes. Sutton: Your grandmother is reaping your heart out with glee and excitement. There is a sinister excitement in your grandma's happin...

 DMN  "DMN" is an acronym for multiple concepts, most commonly the Default Mode Network in neuroscience, a brain network active during rest for self-reflection and mind-wandering, Scott introduced me this concept to explain how this has to do with self-reflection.  My emphasis tonight was on communication. I arrived to the idea of self communication via self-reflection through which DMN moves, when one has complex trauma, towards negative ideation.   Complex trauma The child has two needs: Being cared by his parents Being able to express my authentic self   Group We are here because we never developed secure attachment. We grew up with an  insecure sense on ourselves. We have a fragmented personality. We need to have someone else in our lives because our insecure attachment.  What is traumatic is having things happened to you and being alone. We are grieving being alone be cause of the repetition on what we experienced during childhood.  The st...

  What is felt versus what was said. Scott surrendered to the process because he is committed to repair. It was not what Scott said but what Andre experienced during childhood. Because Scott is regulated, he could relate to Andre, feel connected and repair. Andre wanted to know that Scott wants him, that he wants to be his friend., because it is what he was lacking when coming home. He never felt welcomed. Andy expresses that Andre’s story created some anxiety for him. He was a key slash child. His patents were never home when he came back from school. He had to soothe himself. During puberty the best way to soothe oneself was masturbating to survive loneliness. Robert appreciates how Scott dealt with the problem. His heart was warmed by the way Scott repaired the relationship. Kirk is not checked out, but he is writing … It is hard for Isaac to respond because the situation with Andre is familiar to him. He has a roommate, who is also a friend, but he never knows how h...