Posts

2/12 Robert Hill

His Story: Father: Too old for that (breast feeding) Robert: Perfect size nipple, brown aureola His father was a weak man... never tried to win his attention.  He could not individuate from his mother and side with his father... Breast feeding was also comforting to her. His grandparents baby sat him. He reclined on her bosom. He also sucked from her nipples too. As an adult, she, bragged providing that service when his mother was not around. Robert was embarrassed.  He feels disgust now as an adult. Today he is doing better to keep the appropriate boundaries. I wished my father took more authority. He feels a subconscious repulsion when women get close to him. He still wants the relationship with women.   Scott: What do you feel in your body right now? What is the most prominent physical sensation? I feel raw and exposed. He feels even more embarrassed when the cameras are off. He feels angry. Scott: What movement does the anger want. Robert: I want to push all of you gu...

1/29/2026 Andre

 Andre The body that was never enough. Henry: What if you are enough even if your dad did not tell you so?  Is that possible? It could also mean that the people who thought you were not enough are wrong. Each one of us will tell Andre what we think of him. After the virtual hug, how do you feel? Kirk Henry: tell us more about this grief. He is worn out from life, although he feels he is going in a very direction now. He was let go from a very academic church. So he feels better since he has been out of that environment. He is not over his relationship yet, an 8 months, first time relationship. Henry: Men are about "who we are with and with whom we are." What are you doing with all this lack of belonging? I have become an introvert. I seminary I try to speak to people today, but it is all becoming more complex.  There is no doubt in my mind that if I become a Christian figure.... Henry: Busyness is not as good as an orgasm. So, be curious Kirk. I feel so fucking lonely. He...

1/22/26

 Kirk Scared. Trouble with his preaching work. Henry: What is most scary?  Mike He feels it is God's punishment. He does not know why things happen. He knows we are supposed to rejoice. The first word that comes to his mind is punishment . He hopes he can change it.

1/15/2026

 Check in Turn Towards Approach Open Hearted Authentic Self ---------------------------------------------------- Kirk: He needed to have a craying boy moment. He wished not to have to grow up. Scott: How old are you now?  12? Who taught you to be a man? My mother Scottt: Does she have a dick? Can she teach you how to be a man. No   Majestic Kirk says: It is OK that you do not know how to move forward now. Enjoy your journey because you are not where you once were and yo are not where you need to be. ---------------------------------- Joseph checked in late. It turned out he needed help from the men in the group. After looking at every face, with their out most empathy. Scott asked him, what do yo feel? I feel it in my stomach. I feel grief. I have been thinking about my son. Kirk's sadness made it worse. This brought a lot of grief for Scott too. Scott: I do not think one get over the death of a child. It seems really unfair for you to have to struggle with things you did...

1/8/2026 Derek vignettes

His dad used obscene language when describing his mom VHS with porn ejaculation caused him to throw up ?His father's naked pic His fucked up dad's friend credit card fraud Him in his limo with a girl doing a lap top HE was 14 when his father asked a woman to have sex with him. Scott: How do you feel right now? Nomneness Grief I feel hate for myself Scott: Say  more about that Do you feel a conflict between arousal and disgust? There is a lot of that in these vignettes There is also a lot of violence What kind of porn do you watch? A man humiliating a woman Say that again: rough sex, humiliating a woman, woman giving a blowjob How many years of your dad grooming did you have to endure? If someone said the same story you said, would you name that as grooming? Why to you turn against yourself though? You are not the monster, you father is psychopath, sadistic and Machiavellian. They call that the "dark triad" in psychology. There is a delight you father feels in harming ...

12/18

 Michael Roberto Confession   Hard time asking for help. He needs to learn how to ask for help. He was about to make a zoom sex call. Where do you feel that in your body. Everybody who hear me saying this may think I am an idiot. Do you want the men to give you some kindness? Randy Dygert Confession He feels he is not good enough to be with us in the group. Scott: All we need from you is that you are present. Genesis Chapter 1 God says "is not good for the mean to be alone." Ken's Story The Hole in the Wall. He felt strangled by his closeness to his mother.  He preferred a beating instead of another Christian sermon from his dad. James Thompson: A Christian leader who said it was OK for teenagers  to masturbate.

12/11Being authentic

Scott had a rant about his wife's back condition and the insurance situation. Mike Robert was triggered by Kirk based on a picture Scott posted where he is pitting frosting in his mouth. Kirk commented on Scott being able to take a big load.  Mike got triggered in the sense that he became aroused and he ended up acting out. Kirk was welcomed to tell his story and why he feels like cracking sexual jokes all the time. Then, Mike was invited to tell his story of performing oral sex on guys since he was 15. And so the image of the frosting , plus Kirk's comment triggered him. I want to have a group where men can have real discussions bu telling what they really feel and then love each other (disrupt and repair). We change emotionally and relationally. At home we did not have repair.